


Hopelessly, Insanely, Beautifully

by thetruemelia



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Love, M/M, Panic Attack, SO MUCH FLUFF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 01:50:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5893540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetruemelia/pseuds/thetruemelia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate first kiss story of Baz and Simon. Short and sweet and filled with fluff. Simon is overwhelmed and just needs to be held. Baz steps up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hopelessly, Insanely, Beautifully

I could already feel the tremors setting in, my breathing becoming forced and panicked. I looked around wildly trying to spot Penny in the crowd because she was the only one who could calm me down when this happened but she was nowhere to be seen in the teeming mass of students. I hadn’t had a panic attack in so long I had hoped that I was finally getting better but this letter from the Mage had triggered a bad one. He had written to tell me that he sensed the Humdrum nearing me and the school, and that he was angry. The Mage had odd physic flashes, normally coinciding with bad news. I felt like the walls were closing in around me and I couldn’t catch my breath as I imagined once again having to fight this evil that looked exactly like me. 

I leaped from the chair and pushed through the crowds of people, ignoring the few concerned calls of my name. I needed to get out of here, I needed to get back to my room, which was the only place I felt totally safe. I had no idea why I felt so secure there, considering I slept next to a vampire who had tried to murder me on multiple occasions but to me it was still a sanctuary. As I burst through the door and fell onto the bed, heaving sobs wracked my body and I couldn’t stop shaking. 

I curled tighter into a ball as I heard the door opening, trying to conceal my tears from my roommate but Baz, ever vigilant noticed immediately. Instead of sneering though he crossed the room quietly and sat on the bed next to me. He placed his hand gently on my shoulder and murmured an incantation. Immediately I could breathe more easily, even though tears still flooded from my puffy eyes. Baz, still with his hand on my shoulder, quietly said “what’s wrong Snow?” I pushed myself up suddenly, knocking his hand off me. I realised that my sworn enemy was sitting very close to me and he had just performed a spell of some sort. What if this was merely another murder plot? 

Baz sighed gently and said “don’t worry Snow I’m not going to hurt you. I know all too well what a panic attack feels like and I would never take advantage of you when you feel like this.” I sank back onto the bed and leaned gently against him. “I’m sorry” I whispered hoarsely “I just got overwhelmed. Being the chosen one isn’t all fun and games you know.” “I know” Baz replied, putting his arms around me. I suppose I should have been bothered by this, firstly this was my sworn nemesis, but he was also a guy. Surely guys don’t hold each other while they cry? But instead I wept as Baz held me securely and whispered reassurance in my ear. Eventually my tears subsided and I disentangled myself from his arms and we both got up and got changed separately as always. 

As I climbed into bed a few minutes later and watched Baz through puffy eyes I could feel the fear and worry build up in my throat again. “Baz” I said croakily. “Could you come and lie with me for a while?” Baz stiffened and for a moment I thought he was going to say no but instead he turned around and climbed into the tiny single bed beside me. I started to cry gently again, and Baz immediately drew me into his arms and I rested my head against his chest, feeling safer than I had in a long time. His chest felt solid and human, even though I could feel his coldness and see how pale he was. 

Eventually we fell asleep next to each other. Sometime in the early morning I woke up but kept my eyes closed. I realised that we had moved during the night and we were now spooning with Baz’s arms around me and my body pressed against his. Funnily, I didn’t mind at all I merely lay there quiet and content. I felt Baz shift slightly behind me and I froze thinking I had woken him up but after a moment he settled again I assumed he was sleeping. That is until he began to speak. “Snow” he whispered. I opened my mouth to answer but he continued to speak. He obviously though I was sleeping. “You are the most wonderful person I have ever met. Lying beside you know is the sweetest torture in the world but I will always hold you and love you, even if you will never feel the same way.”

I stayed still and silent for a long time, thinking about what he said. Eventually I turned towards him. Baz was asleep again and I stared for a long moment at his face. It wasn’t handsome in the clichéd way but his sharp cheekbones and strong jaw made his pale face entrancing. I whispered his name and his eyelids fluttered. “Yeah Simon” he said sleepily. “You called me Simon” I breathed. He opened his mouth, no doubt to say something snarky but he faltered when he realised how close our faces were. I could make out his individual eyelashes and could feel his breath gently on my face. Then I moved forward and kissed him. Just quickly. I drew back immediately to see his reaction but he just stared, dumbstruck at me. I smiled a little at him and he moved forward and captured my lips with his again. 

It was the most amazing kiss I had ever experienced. It was steamy and exciting, but that was only part of it. It was filled with unspoken words and affection. I poured my heart into the kiss and I knewBaz could feel it. We kissed and kissed without speaking for a very long time. Eventually we drew apart and just gazed breathlessly at each other. I saw him in a whole new light. I had never noticed the tiny scar just above his right eyebrow before and suddenly all I wanted to do was kiss it. His lips were puffy and swollen from the kissing and his eyes were filled with love and happiness. I had never felt happier and safer than in that moment. We still didn’t say a word. Instead we fell asleep facing each other, our limbs all tangled together and thousands of unspoken words flowing between our eyes. That was the moment I knew that I was hopelessly, insanely, beautifully in love with Tyrannus Basilton Pitch.


End file.
